A little too much

Today, I am not sure why I am mad with my husband. Every time when there is an argument, I don't feedback to him. Example, when I drove car, he Definately will sound me?p. Why can't let me drive peaceful ply. And when reach home, when I open gate, he say lock the car, when I lock the car, he ask me open gate.
 I felt so irritating and not on same page with him. When I m sad, I always look back our marriage days photo. And ask myself why I married to this guy.

It's been few time I had ignored him. I don't want to had a talk fight. I just kept quite. Had my meal. Do my things and let the mood ease.

I brought him a cough syrup, he not even bother that I cared him, I purposely left it at Midah house.
Ask him seek Doctor but seem doesn't goes into his head.

Always said I m dying soon. Ya, one day you will. If the is your wish, own health never care. And saying I don't care about you. What kind of nonsense is this .

Sometimes I am demanding. Asking him do a lot of silly things. Once a while he nag that I didn't inform him earlier or didn't plan well.

I am very sad . I wish my sister squido stay by my side and listen to my rant .

Define love

I used to believe that love was a light switch. Something flicks on. You get an overwhelming sensation. It hits you like a bag of bricks. Or a strong arrow. When you know, you know. Right? Not so much. After 38 years and an expired marriage, I don’t see love that way anymore. I’ve placed Cupid right next to Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny.

Love is a series of choices. The first choice is based on many many factors, including chemistry, principles, logic, humor, intelligence, body type, where we are in our lives, what we want/need… the list goes on and on, and the weight of each factor varies depending on the individual. Based on these factors, we either choose to begin the process to love or not. If we decide to enter this process, the action of loving can bring “light switch” moments. The way he looks at you. How hard she makes you laugh. The notes he hides in your purse. The way she makes you feel when you don’t feel anything.

But like an airplane flight, there is turbulence. The fights. The disagreements. The little things that bother you. His socks. Her shopping. You start wondering if you’ve made the right choice. Once you are in doubt, you have to make another choice: to continue to fly with this person or jump out of the plane. This choice is based on a thousand other factors, again depending on the individual and where they are in their journey. If you decide to jump, the scary free fall will either make you stronger (grow) or miserable (depressed). But sooner or later, you’ll find yourself back at the airport waiting to board another plane. Then you hit turbulence. Or maybe there is no turbulence. Maybe you’ve 

changed your mind about the destination. Either way, another choice. Fly or jump?

Love is making a choice every single day, to either love or not love. That’s it. It’s that simple. Either to continue the process or not. We fall in and out of love. Even in relationships, especially inrelationships. This doesn’t mean we don’t love the person. It means we are left with a choice. There is a difference between feeling love for someone (caring about a person) and loving someone (choosing to love that person). You may have love for someone forever. But that doesn’t mean you choose to love that person forever. The choice to love is not a feeling; it is an action. That is why it is so difficult. It requires you to do something, and I’m not just talking about buying flowers. It might mean putting your wants aside. Also, like chemistry, the ability to love is not a constant. It is a variable. It fluctuates, depending on where you’re at in your life and what you’re struggling with. Sometimes it is easy to love. Sometimes it is extremely difficult. But at the end of the day, it’s always a choice.

Although love varies, it also deepens. This means the longer you stay on that flight and embark on the journey together, the more fruit the process with bare. Your investment pays off. Your choices become easier. You not only become stronger as a couple, but also as individuals, assuming the love process is healthy - which means you guys are both doing work. The choice to love creates opportunity to hit notes in life that you could never hit alone, and THIS is what makes your choice worth it.

So, how do you know if it’s love? That is not the question to ask. The question is: Do you choose to love this person or not? Right now. Not tomorrow. Today. Make a choice. Yes or no. If the answer is yes, love as hard as you can. Love with everything you’ve got (your capacity right now at this point in your life). If the answer is no, promise me one thing.

Let the fall make you stronger. 

Sometimes you meet someone and before you know their name, before you know where they are from

15 year old girl holds hands with her 1 year old son. People call her a "slut", no one knows she was raped at age 14.

People call another guy "fat", ", no one knows he has a serious disease causing him to be overweight.

People call an old man "ugly", no one knows he experienced a serious injury to his face while fighting for our country in the war.

you just know that sometime in the future this person is going to mean something to you.

** Re-post this if you are against bullying and stereotyping. I bet 88 of you won't,the other 22 arent heartless and will. **

Royal Palace 08Oct

Just in case i forget ~ Been forgetful recently.. have to wrote down what been thru from my daily life story..

Yesterday, had a awesome dinner with my sis (Squido ng) to korean village near ampang. I brought her to Royal Palace Restaurant.. It was packed and crowded !! We were attended bya lady "one minute please" hehehhe... we had our dinner at the corridor as inside was full.. N i told a joke to my sis about "little lulu and keow teow".. she laugh as much as she breath!! XD

Later on .. when i reach home.. Got phone call asking for help.. "i was drunk"... i was ..... have to accompany he home.. Told him i drive he wont listen.. like riding in roller coaster... =.=! unwilling to listen yet yelled at me.. hence i kept silent all the journey..

Later on

Love Vs Obsession

Some ask me.. she said that, someone likes "her". i replied, how u know ? She told me, she has been
hallucination about him.
Hence, i said that is just an opposite gen attraction.

Love - is where both care each other n rapport relationship built.
It come with basic, shy and wont take a loop to get close.. Where both will watching each other from a far distance.


Obssessed - It leads blind walk, desireness into him/her n heart brokening.
Even a small body language and whisper gets ur attention, means he is distracting u, urself.
Where she or he will find a single chance to get close.

Life can be like having cup of tea. Sitting by the window, lift the cup and take a fresh sip,
only to realise somebody forgot to put the sugar. Too lazy to go for it, somehow strunggle thru that sugarless tea. At the end of it, discovered sugarcrystals sitting at the bottom of the cup.

That's how life is...
We dont make an effort to value what is with and around us.
So look around, maybe the sweetness we are looking for is closer than we think.

Life will never Provide a "Warranty" & "Guarantee". it can only Provide "Possibility"& "Opportunity". ITs up to u to convert them into success n reality.